I'd like to do revision first:
you have to add more concrete details, Dony. Give more details on each major points you make or consider adding other major points if you could find ones. The point about quite place, you can advise readers to find a room or go to library or ....
In addition, the atmosphere of the place should be nice for you. It should be cool. That is not hot or cold. The reason for this is that, when it’s hot, your body will sweat. It will make you feel very annoying. Otherwise, if it’s cold, you can’t either read or do exercise because your body might shake that you can not stand feeling cold. However, if it’s cool, your body will not sweat and you don’t feel cold. Your study would go smoothly.
I think this discuss too much about atmosphere and it seems a little bit repetitive. The sentences "However, if it’s cool, your body will not sweat and you don’t feel cold. Your study would go smoothly" isn't necessary.
The study tools points, you can tell reader to organize those tools. It's very annoying to have things spread over the desk. you can add more if you wish.
For the last point, add more detail...
Now I'll proofread:
overall, you should add more complex sentences and try to tie your sentences together.
A best place should be
The best place.
try to find words to use instead of the word Place. you use to often. consider the words area, field....
bothering should be distraction or disturbance.
Things should be sound-making engines or ...
nice should be convinient or comfotable. the words Nice and Thing should rarely be used in writing.
This sentence should be: It should be cool, that is neither too hot nor too cold.
Futher that should be Futher than. i'm not sure about this. use comma instead of simicolon.
a lot should be considerably..
Dictionary should be dictionaries.
Never use etc. mention only three things without using etc.
your organization is excellent.
just some guide. Hope this will help!
